How to Weed out the Good Ones

If you’re looking for a good friend, there are a few simple tricks to finding one.  You need trust in the person, you need to like them, and last but not least, you need to get along with them. Some friends are temporary, and some are here for the long run.  Finding a best friend, you need to make sure that this is the friend that isn’t going to leave when things get tough. And just remember, as the American Proverb says, “Fooled once shame on you, fooled twice shame on me.” 
Being able to trust in a person is very hard. Being able to trust someone is ever harder.  Some people find this easier than others, but you have to have faith in them. You have to know that they are going to stick by your side, and they are going to stick up for you. You need to test their friendship, start with little things like sharing something. Take turns driving places, taking care of the bill, and just have fun with this “friend”. Next, you need to start sharing small secrets, and they need to share back.  You will slowly feel trust building up and just remember to hardly ever put all your trust in someone. They have to earn that trust. Putting all of your marbles on the table is for when this person proves to you that they have your best intentions in mind and that they are going to act on that no matter what. Hopefully when you find that friend you’re willing to take a chance on, they will be highly enjoyable. 
Learning to like someone and live with their flaws, like a friend having OCD can be difficult. Having a friend that chomps, has other bad habits’, or is just annoying is also a difficulty that you have to live with and figure out how to deal with.  If they have a relaxed personality, it’s a safe bet that you can be up front with the friend. Tell them that it’s disgusting to chomp food, tell them that they need to change how they act, to a point; you don’t want them to completely change, because they got you as a friend from acting a certain way! In certain situations, you should tip-toe around the subject if you think the friend will react a bit harsher. If the comment is somewhat unimportant, then why risk upsetting your friend? Sometimes suffering through the pain of having a friend clean up after you, is well worth the agony of always having a clean apartment!  
Last but not least, when creating a great friendship, you need to get along with the person. You should be friends at this point, and also trusting them completely with your valuables, if they are going to be let into your life and around your house. Compatibility is a big part of trust, because it shows who is similar to you and who you should treat a bit differently. To find out if you’re compatible, try going to the movies together. If you don’t have fun, try something interactive, like going bowling or to lounge to hang out. In the end,  if that doesn’t work, then try going to a dinner together, whether in a group, or just on a friend date. Within all of these activities, if you have a blast, then you have most likely found your future roommate, or a future close friend. Still have your guard up a bit just to make sure that your friend is sincere and you will be on track to gaining a new friend.
When investing in a friend, just remember to be cautious. Always be open to a new friend, but remember to follow the steps. An unknown author once said, ““Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” Always remember this because when you find one of the special ones, you won’t want to ever leave them, and you will always carry a part of them. Always have a small guard up when beginning any friendship, but also remember to let it down once in a while. Also, look at yourself to see if you’re as compatible as the person you’re looking for. Look at your own habits and see if they’re ones that others would like to be annoyed of. Always think of your friends as family, and consider the as important as yourself.   

Chivalry at Its Finest

               You love your mother. Wherever she is at the moment, whatever she is doing, you love her- no matter what. You have that same love for all the members of your family. This type of love is one of benevolence. Selflessness is often when one cares for others much more than themselves. Along with loving your mother, you would do anything for her. Would you automatically choose yourself over her? Or would you choose her over yourself?

            Altruism, also known as selflessness is defined on Wikipedia as, “a concern for the welfare of others”. Most people are capable of such a deep level of love and care, a level of want and need for the other to turn out as great as possible in everything they do. Having a care for someone so intensely, more than your own is what a selfless person has. At a certain point, they don’t even care what happens to themselves, they care about what happens to their loved ones. Altruism is one of the least malicious actions, where everything, in that moment, is for the better.

            We learned of altruism in the 19^th century, and to this day it is used in many instances. It is mainly looked at with psychologists’, ethologists’, as well as evolutionary biologists’. When it was first discovered though, it was looked at in more of a philosophical and ethical light. “While ideas about altruism from one field can have an impact on the other fields, the different methods and focuses of these fields lead to different perspectives on altruism.”

            There are many different viewpoints on altruism. There are scientific views, as well as religious views, and even different animal habits having to do with the subject.  One of the scientific views has to do with “how the brain works”. Two neuroscientists, or “the study of the anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, and pharmacology of the nervous system”, did a study on how the brain reacts to different items using magnetic resonance imagining (also known as MRI’s).

Jorge Moll and Jordan Grafman found that simple rewards and donations lit up the part of the brain that responds to food and sex. They also found that a different brain circuit lit up when they discussed donations and generously helping others, and this circuit is known as the subgenual cortex/septal region. This region is referred to when looking at social situations, as well as bonding and attachment. Thus, the experiment suggested that altruism is not considered a moral suppressant for basic selfish urges, but more-so a basic hard-wire to the brain and pleasurable to the human race.

Religious views have to do with most of the religions that are practiced daily, Christianity, Judaism, Sikhism, Sufism, Jainism, as well as one of the main viewpoints being Buddhism. Wikipedia states, “Love and compassion are components of all forms of Buddhism, and both are focused on all beings equally: the wish that all beings be happy (love) and the wish that all beings be free from suffering (compassion).”

Sites used: wikipedia, dictionary.reference.com